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SHOCKING NEWS: No Jail For Chris Brown

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Well, surprise surprise, it turns out that Chris Brown will not be going to jail after all, for beating up Rihanna. He got a felony with probation in today’s trial. Rihanna was there and brought into the courtroom separately, as…

Of Course Chris Brown May Get Let Off, Of Course

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

In a shocking twist, but not really that shocking because celebrities get whatever the hell they want, Chris Brown’s court case, that one where he beat the absolute shit out of his girlfriend, may be dropped altogether. Because of the…

Wait, What Weekly: Rihanna’s New TATTITUDE!

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

I couldn’t help myself with that headline. Rihanna flew tattoo artist Bang Bang out to LA, and he gave her a few small tattoos of guns on her ribs and shoulder blades. Pics of her new ink are on the…

They’re All Morons

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

It’s utterly ridiculous that Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together. Yea, love conquers all and all that bullshit, but Chris Brown hit her in the face. What the hell is she thinking? What kind of self-respecting person would go…

Quotent Quotables: Chris Brown Is Sorry, Sort Of

Monday, February 16th, 2009

Yesterday, Chris Brown finally spoke to the masses about allegedly beating the shit out of Rihanna, and he also took the time to address his “single” Facebook status that last week read, “You’ll begin to see her true colors. Believe…

That’s Assault, Brotha

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I knew some things were missing during the Grammy’s last night. In between the earth-shattering power duet that was Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, and witnessing one of the best songs ever being pooped on by the Jonas Brothers, I…

Rihanna Woke Up As Britney Spears. It’s True!

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

Rihanna did not actually, physically go to bed one night and wake up the next day as Britney Spears. That would be impossible. You see, US Weekly took a quote Rihanna gave them and used it as a headline so…