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I wasn’t going to mention the Jeremy Piven debacle that has been strewn across the blogs for the past couple of weeks, because the story was changing too much and I just couldn’t keep up after he left his Speed-the-Plow stint on Broadway because he ate too much sushi and came down with a case of mercury poisoning.

That sounded like a bunch of hooey, and so a great time with editorial headlines was had by all. All except for one blog, in which Piven’s illness made sense due to the planetary systems in our birth charts. “In Piven’s case, transiting Saturn made a pass over Uranus and Pluto in his chart in September as he was preparing for the opening of the play, and by October when the play opened Saturn had moved to a point exactly opposite Saturn in his birthchart. A transit of Saturn to Saturn’s place in the natal chart occurs every seven years and generally stimulates a challenge of some kind,” says Beliefnet. Whoa.

Anyway, then came all the reasons why Piven would bail out of the play, using sushi as a horrible excuse, like bad reviews, poor turn-out and his conflicting partying schedule. After he left the play, ticket sales went down even more, and his ex-cast mates publicly talked crap about him, which meant they were either bitter that he cost them a more successful show, or he really was the bag of dicks everyone who has come into contact with him claims him to be. In the meantime, Piven flew to Bangkok over New Years for what I’m sure will be a quick recovery.

But now, the story is that Piven never quit the play — he was fired, for doing things like continual lateness, being rude to the cast and crew and using his understudy if the crowd sizes weren’t to his liking.

“He wanted out of his contract for about a month—he was trying to get out of it,” says another major Plow player, claiming the Emmy-winner was “disappointed” doin’ it live night after night. The mercury poisoning excuse was a way out to save face,” according to E! Online.

Whatever the actual case is, this sounds much more reasonable. Jeremy Piven makes Ari Gold seem like Richie Cunningham and he has hair plugs.

Next time you see him eating sushi at Nobu, be sure to take lots of pictures and immediately send them off to the Internets. Once he’s allowed back there, that is. Douche.

via Defamer.

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