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The Editors — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:54:11 +0000

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The Ostrich by Lucas Zanotto

amyt — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:08:16 +0000

The Ostrich from Lutas on Vimeo.

by Lucas Zanotta

Tiger Owes Us ALL an Apology

The Editors — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:10:38 +0000

Take a lesson kids. This is what happens when you have boatloads of nasty sex with people other than your wife. They give you a podium like you’re the President of the United States of Shit, I Really Blew It, Didn’t I? They zoom in on your lifeless eyes and receding hairline. Lights, camera, humiliation. You’re sorry to all the fans who thought who were an incredible golfer. It turns out… oh wait, you still are. You just really like sex. You’re sorry to all your employees who thought they were working for a decent human being. It turns out… eh, well you seem like a nice enough guy, you just have a thing for skanks. You’re sorry to you Mom and DUDE, LOOK AT THAT DEATH STARE. She’s got front row seats and she’s burning a hole in your head. Uh, who else? You’re sorry to the sport of Golf in general, but are you kidding? This is the most exciting thing that’s happened since Phil Mickelson graduated from a training bra to an A-cup. What else ya got? Oh you’re in therapy now? Sex rehab huh? “Help me Doc, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s almost like I’m attracted to women or something.” You should bunk with David Duchovny. There’s like a 90% chance you guys banged the same Denny’s waitress back in ’05 aka The Glory Days. Oh and how bout the ole ball ‘n chain? “Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you my wife did not beat me like a rug. She did not knee me in the balls and cold-cock my cheating ass. And she most certainly didn’t reach into my metaphorical chest and pull out my heart like Mola Ram. Srsly where do u ppl get these ideas?” Clearly, you’re a very religious guy. I believe it was Siddhartha Gautama who said, “Please delete me from your phone.” Okay, wrap it up dude, we lost Camera A and it’s almost lunch time. Something about your kids maybe. You have kids, right? I think their names are Sal and Charlene. I guess it doesn’t matter if you know em or not, because by the time you’ve written your 23^rd multimillion dollar child support check, I’ll think you’ll have it down. This is America, after all. We will celebrate you for doing one inconsequential thing well, give you the keys to the castle, turn you into a Golden God, and then tear it all down when you can’t keep it in your pants. Don’t like it? Move to Uruguay. I hear they have an awesome sex rehab prison there. No David Duchovny though.

Tiger Woods Apologizes

The Editors — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 16:37:37 +0000

After enduring months of media scrutiny, sex rehab, and hideouts on his yacht, Tiger Woods made his first public appearance since his personal problems surfaced. The Ology staffers just spent 45 minutes watching Tiger’s statement, and debating it afterward. We’ll have a more comprehensive follow-up analysis later today, but for now, check out the statement for yourself.

Funniest (Intentional) Commercial

chelseadavison — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:15:02 +0000

This is certainly the funniest commercial I’ve seen in a long time and even more unusual, it is humorous on purpose. Old Spice has nailed it–mocking the typical commercial and successfully creating something that elicits more than the usual “heh, I guess that’s kind of cute” reaction. Too bad this didn’t air during the Super Bowl!

Dangerous Wands

annabreslaw — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:18:24 +0000

“My father’s in Azkaban! My brother’s in Azkaban!” This College Humor short is spot on.

Backlash To The John Mayer Backlash

annabreslaw — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:49:58 +0000

Although he’s expelled a number of douchey gems in the past month that make empathy difficult to muster, there’s something so tragic and Network-ish about John Mayer’s very public meltdown.

Holly Robinson Peete, the black actresses namechecked as gorgeous by John Mayer in the now-infamous Playboy interview where he talked about his “David Duke cock,” is still pissed at him despite his tear-soaked concert apology. And, if I may say, rightly so.

“This guy has some major issues to sort through and a whole lot of apologies to make,” Peete said. “I heard some apologies about the ‘n-word,’ and I’ve seen him crying, which seemed sincere. But I don’t know if he understands how much he hurt black women’s feelings.”

Oprah apparently wouldn’t even let him on her show to apologize to ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston. Rough times.

You Tell ‘Em, Gary!!

amyt — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 02:37:41 +0000

Look at Gary Coleman, everybody! He is so not volatile.

Britney’s new Candie’s campaign ropes in famous photogs

Natalie Zutter — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:39:49 +0000

Britney Spears’ ads for Candie’s Only at Kohl’s are harmless at best, though alarmingly pink and annoyingly airbrushed. But now the brand seems to be classing it up a bit, hiring three of the world’s best photographers to shoot Britney in various styles in their new “Through the Lens” campaign.

Annie Leibovitz, Mark Seliger and Terry Richardson did their shoots late last year, each posing Britney in a specific location. My favorite is Leibovtiz’s choice, less for the industrial background and more for the movement; it’s reminiscent of Britney’s heyday as an ebullient performer. Richardson’s choice of a plain white set smartly incorporates the Candie’s pink scheme without drowning in bubblegum pop.

I’m less thrilled with Seliger’s choice to put her in a burlesque dancer’s dressing room, as it brings back painful memories of Britney struggling to navigate her sexuality. We’ve seen the Circus, we’ve been a Slave — let’s move on.

That said, the official site has Seliger’s other shot, of Ms. Spears atop a motorcycle, which looks pretty good.

Would you take Candie’s a bit more seriously with these more mature, classier pics?

[Via People]

[Image source: Candie's]

Shocker: JWoww and Snooki aren’t Italian!

Natalie Zutter — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:26:02 +0000

I don’t know what to believe anymore: “guidettes” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoww” Farley aren’t even Italian, even though they and Jersey Shore as a whole seemed to be presenting a negative stereotype of Italian-Americans.

Turns out JWoww is Irish and Spanish, and dear Snooki is Chilean. I wonder if that will make reactionary groups take pause, or if they’ll be even angrier that people of other heritages are appropriating the Italian-American Jersey Shore identity, with the general effect being mockery.

Whatever they are, check out their interview with Chelsea Handler:

[Via US Magazine]

[Image source: Cover Awards]

[Video source: ChelseaLately on YouTube]