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Jersey Shore has always been entertaining, but at some point it transitioned into a complete phenomenon. Girls who taste the difference between pinot grigio and sauvignon blanc wore Bumpits in their hair on Halloween. Boys with phDs from Yale are fist-pumping. New York Magazine is calling it American kabuki theater. I mean, I don’t even know how to feel anymore.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who serves as a hotbed of the show’s romantic drama and is arguably Jersey Shore’s Anna Karenina, may or may not have X-rated pictures floating around, according to RadarOnline and E! right on the heels of JWoww’s own nude photo debacle.

But Snooki angrily Tweeted in the negative: “Like i said before about my supposed ’sex tape’…There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip.”

You heard it here, guys. Snook gossip is as beautiful, intricate, and subtle as kabuki theater. Unless the specification of “American” kabuki means it’s crass, obnoxious and lowbrow by default.

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