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I love it when anyone fights online. It’s so passive aggressive and stupid. But I love it more when celebrities fight online. Via Twitter. Where you can really express yourselves in those 140 characters.

According to Celebrity VIP Lounge,”Perez took a big fat jab at one of the tracks on Daniel Merriweather’s album, which was in fact, produced by Mark Ronson. (Ronson) writes, “Pardon me but you have made a career out of picking on teenagers, lesbians, etc. congrats, you can now add rappers to that list.

Hilton writes, “Correct. And that’s also given me a platform to talk about a lot of amazing musicians and expose them to millions of people. It’s cool, boo. I unfollowed you. And I’ll make sure to never mention Dan Merriweather again on my site. Because… Not only am I fat, ugly, unfunny, stupid …

Ugh. For like the eighty-gazillienth time, Jessica Biel is out there complaining that she can’t get any good roles in Hollywood because she’s just too good looking, after years of choosing to exploit her body, albeit a great one, in her movies and photo shoots. Like here, here, here, here and here. I think we can fix that problem by slapping her in the mouth.

Two years ago, she said the same thing: “[One director told me,] ‘I’m not looking for the sexiest woman; I’m looking for the girl next door,’ “Parts I really want aren’t going to me. Like The Other Boleyn Girl with Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. I don’t want to say that there’s nothing I love that I can’t have. But there’s still the occasional script that the director doesn’t want …

Every time Katie Holmes is on the cover of a magazine, people crap their pants in disbelief of how she looks and what she says. I don’t really understand why this is, although I will say it’s quite fascinating that the same girl who asked Dawson to the Anti-Prom now has one big, stinking Scientology-loving family with Tom Cruise.

Here she is on April’s cover of Glamour, looking – dare I say – glamorous?!?!

But the Photoshop hounds have already sunk their teeth into this one. I guess her eyes really aren’t the color of a crisp, clear ocean on a bright Summer’s day, but more like a tepid pool with some chlorine in it.

Beyond the cover, however, Katie says some things about all them …

Ashton Kutcher got a ton of shit from the bloggers yesterday after he posted this ridiculASS video of himself, obnoxiously complaining about his neighbor who was doing construction at 7am, which, in turn, awoke Ashton from his beauty sleep.

I couldn’t even get through the whole thing, it is that annoying.

BUT, he recanted himself later on, probably realizing how much of a complete whiny bitch tool he was being, or he at least pretended to come to that realization because he wants to be down with the homies of our generation so that he can continue making money, sleeping in past 7am and making ridiculous videos of himself inside the confines of his mansion.